I'm trying...i'm not there yet but I'm trying..

To recap this weekend:

Saturday: Spent my day alternating between cleaning my house/doing laundry/watching youtube videos and reading. We had Chik-Fil-A for dinner and that was about it.

Sunday: Around 2pm I went grocery shopping and then I did more laundry. I took a 3 hour nap and woke up at 8pm. I ate rice for dinner- don't ask me why. Seriously, I was just craving it for some reason.   My sister called asking me what to do at an airport- this girl has seriously not flown in over 5 years since probably her trip to Mexico. lol! I was like....are you for real? When she asked if she could just wrap her stuff in plastic wrap instead of putting her 3ounce items in a quart sized bag- I was like "NO!!" Lol Once again- very exciting. Sidenote: I read a book called "A Monster Calls" by Patrick Ness and cried like an absolute baby at 12:30 at night. Seriously- it was so good. I also made lunch for my husband to take to work-not at 12:30 at night though. That came before.

Monday- Work was ok but I couldn't really stay focused for some reason and I just overall felt apathetic towards my workload all day. On the way home I called my dad and spoke to him about my sister and her business trip and some other things. When I came home S was already making dinner and I went to get the mail. When I came back in he said he had a surprise for me. He had bought the purse that I had been admiring a week or two ago. It is gorgeous! It is a tiny bit bittersweet though. The reason is that it is a designer purse by my what I consider my  favorite somewhat affordable designer lol. Basically- it is wasn't cheap. I'd love to let people know the sweet thing that my husband did but then it would just come across as bragging and to be honest, I see too much of that on facebook as it is. I might just leave a vague comment thanking him for his thoughtfulness.

I also feel like I can't show it to my sister. Right now we are in different places financially, and again it would seem like I was bragging. It has gotten to the point where I don't even tell her when I have paid off another student loan-something that I'm very proud of myself for doing. Basically, my husband and I know that we will eventually have children and I will be staying at home with them. It's how he was raised and what he wants for our family and hey as long as we are able to pay our bills, put money in savings, and he doesn't mind the burden of supporting us well then I'm ok with it. I work full time right now and I have made it my mission to pay down my student loans as fast as I am able to. I don't want to have a ton of debt leftover when the time comes for me to stay at home. I don't want that burden on our family. My sister, however, I think gets jealous when I pay something off because she knows that S is paying all of the bills so I'm not paying for rent, utilities, food, etc. and at first I had a hard time with this but you know what...we are MARRIED and this is what works for us right now. I have friends that went to college and don't even work so give me a break- I'm doing this for my family's future. I could be selfish and just pay my minimums on my loans and spend the rest on stuff- but I don't and I won't. End of rant I suppose. I told S that I wasn't sure if I even wanted to bring the purse to Chicago when I go home to visit but he told me that I shouldn't feel guilty that he is able to afford the purse for me and that he got it for me and wanted me to use it. Well..we'll see.

Anyway, we had dinner and then I did some more laundry (washed our comforter) and bleached some socks- we'll see how those came out when I get home today. I also cleaned up downstairs during commercials. Tomorrow I am getting my rugs cleaned and I am so excited! Tonight I will have to get all of the things that I can from downstairs (small tables/lamps/coffee table) and stick it upstairs. Have I mentioned how excited I am about getting my carpet cleaned...because I seriously am! :) I'm not sure what we are doing for dinner yet but I'm sure it will probably be something low key- pasta or hot dogs most likely. Kind of in the pasta mood tonight. We'll see. More cleaning tonight- day by day my house is looking better.

My husband enjoys falling from perfectly good airplanes and hurting himself in the process

Text from S yesterday:

S: So...I need to get x-rays
S: But nothing's broken...
S: I think....

Le sigh. It turns out he has a lot of bruising/soft tissue damage in his left ankle and is hobbling around on crutches. The good thing is that he spends 8 hours a day in a classroom so he should be fine and he is on profile for PT which means he isn't required to work out in the morning currently. He was pretty cranky though last night when I went upstairs to go to bed.

Yesterday was a really weird day for me. A little back story. On July 10, 2012 my mom had surgery for a brain tumor they had just discovered. That day we found out that they weren't able to remove all of it and there wouldn't be much that we would be able to do. 4 months later and she was gone. I lived in NC and she was in Chicago. I saw her in October and that was the last time I saw her as herself. She was crying when she said goodbye but I told her not to cry I'd see her soon. At the time she was walking around, talking, and much more like herself. The next time I saw her she wasn't even conscious or able to talk and I never got to say goodbye the way I would have wanted to. This day means a lot to me because it is the day my world came crashing down on me. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my mom and this time of year...well it is tough. I was hoping to get some support from my husband but he didn't even mention it at all to me- to ask if I was ok- he was too focused on his injury. Oh well.

I also have some things going on with my body right now but until I know more I'm not ready to discuss it with S and frankly, yesterday, I had no desire to.

Enough doom and gloom though- it's Friday and that has to count for something! Let's see...

I've been reading a lot more lately. I read two books last weekend and one book this week. My reading slump is definitely over. I have been getting much better about cleaning every night. I printed out a morning/night time routine but unfortunately my morning routine is severely lacking because I'm staying up too late and sleeping in far too much. It's something to work on.

I guess that's about it. I have to deposit my paycheck today and pay down some more of my student loan debt. Yay for all of my money going towards paying off my credit card/student loans. Sigh. :(

Hopefully today will be better.